I was recently called out on social
medial for making a political joke in what this person apparently thought
should be a serious conversation. Never
mind the fact that it was a humorous discussion to start with. He made some pretty rude statements and I was
bothered by his hurtful comments for a grand total of 3 seconds before I
stopped giving a shit what he thought about me.
I’m comfortable with who I
am. A cynical, sarcastic individual who
tries to find the humor in everything. The
subject of politics is no exception. I
joke about politics simply because, let’s be honest, this election is a fucking
circus. And circuses are funny. Allow me to provide a brief synopsis of some
of the main acts.
First
we have the firebreather. He opens his
mouth and there is an immediate explosion of hot air that is only meant to
spark a fire and elicit gasps from the crowd.
And gasp they do! Although you
can’t hear the female spectators because he has informed them that the best
decision for their bodies is to sit in the back row for the entire 9 months
that the circus is in town, regardless of their personalized circumstances. But no matter, they can still enjoy the show
from back there in the 1900’s. And it’s
not just the women he knows what’s best for.
Oh no, he cares about ALL of his spectators. When he invites audience members to
participate in the show, he will even let homosexual individuals join in the
fun, as long as it’s not the part of the show that requires rings. That’s crossing the line. What a great guy, this firebreather, looking
out for everyone else.
That’s a tough act to follow but up
next is the high-flying trapeze artist. She
swings from side to side, never really landing on any given issue. The spectators watch her in awe as she leaps
from topic to topic, dodging all obstacles in her way until she ultimately
catches the hands of her partner, without whom, she wouldn’t even be in the
show. Her act isn’t overly impressive to
me. I can see the thin rope hooked to
her back that attaches to the ceiling.
It’s really not that big of a surprise, is it? Little scandals like this tend to follow this
high-flying acrobat everywhere she goes.
It is disappointing though. She
belongs in the center ring about as much as the Kardashians belong in a
convent.
Up next is the magician. I find this one particularly fascinating.
Halfway through the show, he takes half of the popcorn from paying spectators
and makes it appear in the hands of those who didn’t put in the time and effort
to stand in line to get their own. But
he does it with such flash and pizzazz, that even half of the paying spectators
don’t seem to mind. It’s really impressive. His employees love him too. Probably because he pays his lovely assistant
the same amount that he pays his doctor.
Personally, if I was his doctor, I’d be kind of pissed and would tell
him to have his assistant surgically remove his head from his ass the next time
he got it stuck there. But that’s just
me.
Finally, we have the clown. I think I love him most of all. What’s funny about his act is that he
actually has some valid points, as long as you live in 1865, pre-civil rights America. In his defense, purging and
starting over is all he knows. When he
was in debt, he filed bankruptcy, cleaned house, and started over again. Why not do the same thing with America? A new beginning…genocide…we are really just
splitting hairs over terminology. Cut
the guy some slack. He just wants to rid America of the “problems” that he
sees. You and I might call them human
beings but, again, we are really just nitpicking over terminology here.
Wow.
Seriously, great show guys.
Barnum and Bailey really have some competition. I can barely wait for the next election
year. I’m not sure how we will be able
to top this year’s candidates. But I
guess I should get back to reality and respond to the asshole who is adamant
that I must have a serious political stance.
Well here it is. I don’t get
involved in political conversations for a reason. I hate arguing with people and tension makes
me anxious, especially with friends and family.
But choosing not to participate in political conversations doesn’t mean
I don’t have opinions or am unaware of the current issues facing our country.
When voting day comes, I will be
among the first in line. Because that is
my right as an American citizen and it is one that I don’t want to lose. But make no mistake about it, I’m not voting
for the person I think will make the best President. I’m voting for the person I think will do the
least amount of damage. Because the
reality, folks, is that the only hope we have of getting a candidate in place
who can really change this country is not electable. We are too busy rooting for our “team” that
we can’t open our eyes and see that the only way to make a difference is to
find someone that is neither left nor right, but somewhere in the middle. That person will never get elected because
they would not be the “ideal” Democrat or Republican. And shame on us as American citizens for
being so closed minded.
So those who want to argue politics,
by all means, continue to do so. I won’t
stand in your way and it is your right to believe what you choose thanks to
this beloved country that I love so much.
Continue to try and change your America through a system of corrupt
individuals who don’t give a damn about you or the promises that they make
you. If you think you can make a
difference through these circus freaks, congratulations, you have more faith in
our government than I do. I, on the
other hand, will continue to try to make this country a better place in the
only way I think I can. Through charity,
hard work, and general kindness to my fellow Americans. How is that for your precious political
opinion?
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